- This review is transcluded from Talk:Bin Tepe/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Botterweg14 (talk · contribs) 03:08, 24 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Reviewer: UndercoverClassicist (talk · contribs) 10:54, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I'll take a look at this one. UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:54, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
General comments prior to full review
- The lead is very short, and doesn't really summarise the article as it should per MOS:LEAD. As a general rule, each paragraph of the body text normally condenses down to a sentence of the lead.
- There are a few errors in using the RP template (for instance, pp. used with only a single page, or with a hyphen instead of an endash).
- At the start of the Site section, we should explain briefly what's at the site, so we don't have a sentence like Its elevation and proximity to a major travel route made the tumuli conspicuous to ancient travellers coming before any mention of the tumuli in the body text.
- The site's proximity to Bronze Age settlement mounds suggests that it may have been chosen to provide a symbolic link to the past: similarly, we need a sense of the site's chronology to make sense of this.
- generally located off-center to deter grave robbers.: is this explanation given in the sources? Doesn't really pass the sniff test for me (after all, if you want to hide a grave, you don't stick a whacking great tumulus on top of it!)
- stone crepis walls: explain and, if applicable, link crepis.
- I would explain that Gordion was the capital of Phrygia.
- Add the names of the excavators to the infobox. Remember that date ranges like "1854–present" take an endash.
- The style remained in use after the fall of the Lydian Empire: when did this happen?
- many of the datable examples at Bin Tepe having been constructed during the Persian period: similarly, when was this?
- though they coexisted with others such as ... cist graves: I don't usually see cist graves cited as an elite burial style: does the source do this?
- The Tumulus of Alyattes: deitalicise per MOS:ITALIC. The Turkish translation should be in a language template.
- Suggest using the convert template on the metric measurements for the benefit of users used to imperial measurements.
- Despite being constructed to deter grave robbers: how, exactly?
- The two paragraphs of "major tumuli" have all their citations bundled at the end of the paragraph, which isn't great per WP:VERIFIABILITY and makes it very difficult for future editors to add or change content. Could each sentence be cited (only) to the sources that support it?
- The Tumulus of Alyattes was described by Herodotus in his Histories: who was he and when did he write?
- It's more usual to give the Herodotus citation as "1.93". We should also credit the translator (George Rawlinson) and, possibly, give the date (1920).
- Suggest linking Croesus in the quotation.
- Image captions that are not full sentences should not end in a full stop/period.
- File:Britishmuseumbintepehorserelief (cropped).jpg needs a PD tag for the original work.
- Alt text should be added to images for accessibility.
- All other images check out.
Thank you for these comments, UndercoverClassicist! These are really helpful, not just for this article but for my Wikipedia contributions in general. Unfortunately I don't think I can commit to implementing these changes any time soon-- I had forgotten that I nominated this article until I saw your announcement on my talk page just now. So I think I will withdraw the submission for the time being, but I will eventually implement your suggestions, which once again look very useful. Botterweg14 (talk) 16:49, 23 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
I've started implementing comments from the above GA review. Here's notes to keep track of what is done and what is not:
- Lead too short Unresolved. Left for later.
- RP template errors Fixed.
- Explaining what the site is in the site section Done.
- Explaining chronology Done, though it might be nice to add approximate calendar dates if they can be phrased appropriately.
- if you want to hide a grave, you don't stick a whacking great tumulus on top of it! I see the reasoning here, but the information is indeed in the source: "Again, like most Lydian tombs, the chamber is located well away from the center of the mound, to make it more difficult for looters to discover."
- Define "crepis" Done. The term seems to be related to crepidoma, though I'm not sure if the usages are identical to the point that a link would be warranted.
- Excavators in infobox Not done. I can look up this information, but I have mixed feelings about this. It adds a lot of clutter and I'm not sure how useful the information is to most readers.
- Dating fall of Lydia Done.
- Cist graves not elite Done. (And good catch!)
- Deitalicize Alyattes + Turkish template Done.
Others left for later. Botterweg14 (talk) 14:45, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
.jpg/File:Britishmuseumbintepehorserelief_(cropped).jpg){kind=link}