The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Nominator: Amir Ghandi (talk · contribs) 07:33, 7 December 2023 (UTC)
Reviewer: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 01:21, 19 April 2024 (UTC)
This has been waiting for so long. I may be able to give my full attention to this review in mid-May. If that happens, sorry beforehand. Aintabli (talk) 01:21, 19 April 2024 (UTC)
showed courage by subduing,
subduedis enough for the lead in my opinion.
Reza Qoli kept the peace intact but in doing so he was cruel, demanding taxes and executing people for mere crimes.Suggest
Reza Qoli ensured peace through harsh measures when collecting taxes and executing people for petty crimes.
executedfeels much better. Aintabli (talk) 20:31, 25 April 2024 (UTC)
once full of love, slowly.
In 1742, Nader was assassinated but survived the attack. He suspected Reza Qoli to be behind the assassination and thus had him blinded, but once the deed was done, he regretted his action and sought his son's forgiveness.Pretty confusing. If Nader Shah was assassinated, how did he survive the attack? My guess is there was an assassination "attempt". Then, it can be made more concise:
Although he later regretted it, Nader blinded Reza Qoli after suspecting him to be behind an assassination attempt.
his father was Nader Qoli Beg Afshar, the future Nader ShahThis could be a separate sentence. And you may consider changing this to
His father was [[Nader Shah|Nader Qoli Beg Afshar]], the future [[Shah]] of Iran.You could also link "Shah of Iran" to List of monarchs of Persia.
Nader remarried by marrying her younger sister, Gowhar Shad, with whom he had two sons.Change
remarried by marryingto
married.
Tahmasp II, the Safavid pretender (r. 1729–1732), was impressed by Nader's victory at Mashhad and appointed him as his commander-in-chief. Nader became known as Tamasp Qoli (servant of Tahmasp) and led the Safavid armies through numerous victories, eventually defeating the Hotak army in Battle of Zarghan in 1730.To:
Impressed by Nader's victory at Mashhad, Tahmasp II, the Safavid pretender (r. 1729–1732), appointed him as his commander-in-chief. Nader led the Safavid armies through numerous victories, eventually defeating the Hotak army in Battle of Zarghan in 1730.Nader's new name is not so relevant when it comes to his son's article in my opinion.
After his uncle, Ebrahim Khan, failed to subdue the rebels, Reza Qoli sent a letter to Nader, telling him of the situation.Suggest
Reza's uncle, Ebrahim Khan, failed to subdue the rebels. When Reza Qoli informed Nader of the situation through a letter, Nader requested Reza to hold on within the city as he was on his way to the east.
Immediately, the Abdalis withdrew from Mashhad and went back to Herat. Thus, the city was saved.Immediately when? Is it the arrival of Nader?
The Abdalis withdrew from Mashhad and went back to Herat immediately after learning that Nader was returning to the region.Aintabli (talk) 03:07, 3 May 2024 (UTC)
give consent to his ascensionCould be
give consent foror just
consent his....
After six weeks of resistance, Ali Mardan surrendered, and personally went to Reza Qoli, offering him a substantial amount of jewelries.Suggest
After six weeks of resistance, Ali Mardan surrendered. He met with Reza Qoli in-person, offering hima substantial amount of jewelries.
Ali Mardan Khan was sent as a prisoner to Herat, but died suspiciously en route.Suggest
Ali Mardan Khan was chained and suspiciously died en route to the prison in Herat.Don't think it's necessary to italicize en route, but it's your call.
Continuing his campaign, Reza Qoli victoriously went through Sheberghan and Aqcha and in July 1737, besieged Balkh.Suggest
Reza Qoli continued his campaign by successfully seizing Sheberghan and Aqcha and later besieging Balkh in July 1737.
overcame the resistance and the Afshar army crushed the defenders.to
overcame the defense, and the Afshar army defeated Sayid Khan.
decided to cross the Amu Darya and advance into the lands of the Khanate of Bukharato
crossed the Amu Darya and advanced into the lands of the Khanate of Bukhara
then. Could you remove 2 or 3? You might also remove those in the next section. Aintabli (talk) 16:42, 12 May 2024 (UTC)
With Reza Qoli, he was gentler., which is described in detail without commentary right after.
At the time, Nader's army required high wages of money to be kept stable. High taxation was rampant and Nader's agents were to use any method to get money from citizens.to
At the time, the economic toll of Nader's army on the citizens was high as agents used any method to collect taxes to make up for the army's great monetary needs.
Furthermore, Reza Qoli dispatched agents of his own into various states of the realm to collect more taxes. Not even the highest authorities in these states could refuse Reza Qoli's agents, because they were renowned for their cruelty.to
Furthermore, Reza Qoli dispatched his agents, who were renowned for their cruelty, across the realm to tax the locals.
through a source other than himto
through any other source than himself
Reza Qoli became quite richto
Reza Qoli acquired great wealth
The great men of the realmWho exactly are they? You can replace
great menwith a term that describes their actual position.
now renamedWouldn't it be more appropriate to say "dubbed as" or "gained fame/famed as," or was this really a full name change?
was to accompanyto
accompanied. And I think any other such instances should be changed to past tense if I have missed any. Aintabli (talk) 22:22, 14 May 2024 (UTC)
Reza's mother died five years after his birth, Nader married her younger sister, Gowhar Shad, with whom he had two sons.Verified the first part but couldn't find the rest. Aintabli (talk) 14:59, 17 May 2024 (UTC)
Reza's uncle, Ebrahim Khan, failed to subdue the rebels. When Reza Qoli informed Nader of the situation through a letter, Nader requested Reza to hold on within the city as he was on his way to the east.Verified.
Nader set out to Herat on March 1731 to completely quell the Abdalis and returned victorious on February 1732.Verified.
On Nowruz 1734, Fatemeh Begum gave birth to a son, whom Nader named Shahrokh, after Shah Rukh son of Timur, thus displaying his interest to emulate a conqueror on the scale of Timur.Verified, but the source says March instead of Nowruz.
On Nowruz 1734It may also be helpful to include exactly when Nowruz takes place either here or when it's first mentioned.
Furthermore, Nader bestowed upon Reza Qoli the duty of preservation and protection of the northeastern borders and the maintenance of Khorasan's security.Largely verified, but the translation reads "northwestern borders".
Afterwards Nader ordered Reza Qoli to refrain from continuing his campaign. He sent a letter to Abu al-Fayz Khan, recognising him as the sovereign of Bukhara. Reza Qoli and Jalayer returned southwards but did not end their campaign, instead they marched into Kunduz and the mountainous Badakhshan in the east. Nader summoned them to join him in Jalalabad and they went there quickly, via Kabul.Verified.
By early 1739, no word of Nader had reached Reza Qoli's court in ten months and there was a rumour spreading about Nader's death in India.Verified.
On March 1741, Nader commenced a campaign to Dagestan to avenge his brother, Ebrahim Khan, who had been killed by Lezgins dwelling there. Nader took Reza Qoli with him, appointing him as one of his commanders.Verified the first sentence. The second ref appears to cover the second sentence but not the first.
It gave him a catastrophic mental breakdown which set him on a path to bitterness, nihilism and anger, eventually likening him to a madman.Verified.
But it also caused numerous rebellions all across the country in opposition to him and his tyrannous rule.Verified. Aintabli (talk) 23:09, 17 May 2024 (UTC)